Wednesday, February 6, 2008

An Ash Wednesday Post

An excerpt from the soon-to-be-released memoirs of Jesus Christ "Just Do It: In Memory of Me":

So Jesus the Christ and the Twelve Apostles (or maybe there were five, or thirty-two; who knows?) are lounging around having dinner after a long day spent trying to convince the people of Israel that it is totally cool to be kind to other folks. Peter turns to Jesus and says, “Hey, Yeshua! What’s the difference between a Pharisee and a bucket of donkey shit?”

Jesus looks at Peter and says, “I don’t know: what?”

Peter says, “The bucket!”

And Jesus the Christ let out a big ‘ol belly laugh and slapped Peter on the back. Oh, he was laughin’ so hard that he was cryin’ and his nose started runnin’. Of course the other apostles couldn’t help but laugh, too. Now this went on for minutes; there would be points of silence where they tried to catch their breath only to blow it out explosively in yet another round of gut-pain-inducing giggles. And when they were all done laughing and had finished drying their eyes, Jesus the Christ looked upon them and said, “You guys are great.”

"Just Do It: In Memory of Me" will be released May 2008 by Harper/Collins. It details the life and times of Jesus (Savior of the World, Who Takes Away the Sins of the World, Happy Are Those Who Are Called To His Supper), his family, his friends, and especially his time in India. Available for pre-order at